Last work day of Summer 2014. Trust me when I say that there will be little productivity today.

Last work day of Summer 2014. Trust me when I say that there will be little productivity today.

In no way am I saying that one of my former colleagues is a heartless guy but I always think of him when I see some poor boater, especially one in a big yacht, setting out for a day of boating on the Hudson only to find themselves stuck by the closed Spuyten Duyvil Bridge. This low-to-the-water structure leads out to the Hudson and becomes a closed gate to all the good times these clowns are missing because they didn’t know about this nondescript railroad bridge that barely shows up on maps. (It’s a bridge, right? We can float under, right? Nope!)
I always smile and chuckle when I see these idiots speed-Google the times when this 1890s-era swing bridge opens next so they can salvage their ruined jaunt. Tony, I say to myself from my Metronorth window, would love this part of my commute.

In no way am I saying that one of my former colleagues is a heartless guy but I always think of him when I see some poor boater, especially one in a big yacht, setting out for a day of boating on the Hudson only to find themselves stuck by the closed Spuyten Duyvil Bridge. This low-to-the-water structure leads out to the Hudson and becomes a closed gate to all the good times these clowns are missing because they didn’t know about this nondescript railroad bridge that barely shows up on maps. (It’s a bridge, right? We can float under, right? Nope!)

I always smile and chuckle when I see these idiots speed-Google the times when this 1890s-era swing bridge opens next so they can salvage their ruined jaunt. Tony, I say to myself from my Metronorth window, would love this part of my commute.

Time Running Out, or Jaw, meet floor

The company drifted for the next nine months without a CEO—months when advertising continued to erode. Bewkes finally hired Laura Lang, whose experience running the digital ad firm Digitas sounded promising. But he was unhappy when, in the fall of 2012, she presented another round of declining numbers. Then, a few months later, Lang found herself in the middle of an embarrassing scandal. At the InStyle Golden Globes after-party at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, Lang’s husband made lewd advances toward several female Time Inc. employees, including InStyle publisher Connie Anne Phillips. Time Warner human resources got involved to clean it up. Within a few months, Phillips had been let out of her noncompete contract (she became publisher of Condé Nast’s Glamour) and Lang had left the company with a $19 million severance. (Lang could not be reached for comment.)

- Here’s a tip: If your print magazines are shedding profits and your web strategy ain’t delivering, maybe you don’t pay $19 million in severance packages to underperforming execs.

(I mean, good for Lang but Jesus.)